What’s Saving My Life Right Now

No need for random blogger comment. I am who I am; I write when the fancy strikes. I can’t insert the cry-laughing emoji here which makes me realize I overuse that little effer way too much; I don’t even know how to function in digital conversation without him.

One of my go-to favorite bloggers is Modern Mrs. Darcy and she does this much-needed list every winter about what’s saving her life in the winter months. I can’t think of a single person that’s like: “By golly, I love that lull in winter after Christmas and before spring- matter of fact, it’s my favorite season!” We all seem to detest it. But you know what’s weird? If this season just suddenly disappeared, I would be off-kilter and frankly a bit angry.

Every bit of this life is part of a perfect plan.

We need this time of hopelessness to find the joy in hope.

And so, these are the things saving my life right now:

Whatever’s On Your Mind This song. I am approaching major changes in my life; I swear, I will talk about it when I can. But my mind in this climate is almost a recipe for implosion. “Please hold onto your heart of gold while you struggle against the cold. You keep dragging that heavy load- just let go! Whatever’s on your mind, just let go.” This is my winter anthem and has been so true for so many times of trial. Which were all, coincidentally, in the winter time. Gah.

Warm Blankets  I think we all have things we can’t resist buying. My middle sister buys candles. My youngest sister buys antiques. I buy blankets. It’s such a simple joy, but on the days I long to be in my little house, (other than my people) it’s the blankets that I miss the most. While perusing Target today, I saw for the first time the coziest outdoor blanket, and it took everything in me to say: just wait. They will have their outdoor sale day soon. It’s coming. Don’t you ever buy anything at the Target full price. Wait!

Twinkle Lights Yes, Mrs. Darcy said this too, but oh my lort! We have had so many nights with nothing lighting our cozy little living room but two strands of twinkle lights. Truthfully, I’ve been living that Hygge life for a few years, but twinkle lights are the latest attraction in this blissful nest.

Scrubs Other than The Office, this is my most quotable show. We recently discovered that it’s on Hulu on it has been, in one hyphenated word, game-changing. So crazy to think that it was ten years ago that I discovered, post-surgery- also- doped-up, this gem. I realized that week that I could never take a single pain pill again while completely sympathizing with those who innocently find themselves addicted to pain pills. Because of this, I made it one complete post-op without a single pharmaceutical relief, and the worst childbirth and recovery imaginable with maybe three of those delightful little suckers. All this to say: Scrubs is crazy funny, but it took being doped up to truly appreciate it. And then I realized, I don’t have to ever be doped up as long as that and The Office are readily available. Scrubs is my accidental pain-reliever, always and forever.

Scandinavian Decor Something about all the white, all the little houses, all the white little candles…it makes things feel a bit cleaner when everything feels so sludgy.

Text Messages (OK, Granny. I’m about to talk about you and maybe kind of be you for a minute.) It hardly seems possible that it’s been almost seven years since my Granny died and we cleaned out her house and the fiftyish years of possessions. For a variety of reasons, I was the only grandchild that was able to be there to clean out their house. We cleaned out an entire life in one day, and my God, that’s another story for another day. It was oddly such a cathartic day, but there was so much debate on what to save and what should go, especially with varying degrees of sentimentality.

I somehow ended up with all of the cards and letters. Truthfully, I wanted all of the vintage pictures on the cards, but I ended up discovering this huge treasure months later when I sat down with those cards: letters between my Granny and her best friend extending over ten plus years.

Imagine how much work that took. Imagine sitting down with your feelings at the end of the week and deciding what was important enough to immortalize and what could simply be tossed aside. Thankfully, I don’t have to do that. Because text messaging.

OK, texting has been a thing for me for over a decade, but I’ve recently come to appreciate its simple beauty. I can text my best friends and say whatever the hell I need to say. Sometimes it’s the little funnies in life, while sometimes it’s the big sads. I can text my parents random thoughts and anecdotes about my daughter. I can have full, meaningless meaningful conversations with my sisters. Sometimes a simple text changes everything. Sure, it comes with its own challenges…but even those challenges can be resolved within a few hours.

I cannot imagine a world in which I’d have to wait a week for a response…and that was with a good friend.

The Greatest Showman Soundtrack I am so in love and borderline obsessed with this movie. About to go see it for the third time. But since I cannot live my life in a movie theater (if only! The popcorn!), we listen to this soundtrack on repeat all day every day. I hope to God the day never comes when one of my loves proclaims they’re tired of this album. It’s our glorious winter song. We bust out the drums and dance like (dear God, please) no one is watching. We all have our favorite songs, and our usual lullabies have been replaced with “Amelia Dreams” (God love her little heart, Novella thinks this song is about me!) and “Never Enough.” It’s nothing short of magic.

These are just a few things saving my life in a dreaded winter. I found out this afternoon that my district is getting few sick days, and I am still processing that