If we got coffee this week, I assure you I’d get a Pumpkin Spiced Latte. I got zero problems admitting that. And suffice to say that will probably be true until Thanksgiving. Ahhhh, I can just feel fall coming, and I cannot freaking wait! I know I’m a walking stereotype (in leggings nonetheless), but I cannot care! So, here’s what I would probably talk to you about this week:

Well, first off, I’d probably tell you that I feel like I’m cheating on my husband by drinking said PSL. Because we’re doing the whole low-carb/ keto thing. I’m truly doing it because that’s what he wants to do, and we eat from the same grocery cart. I’m pretty over diets in general. As I mentioned before, I’ve done all the diets. And I mean allllll the diets. Keto freaks me out. Not so much the “no carb” aspect, but I have to make a conscious effort to get in veggies. The first week went pretty well (other than I for real did have Starbucks today). Energy is okay-ish. I guess if I had to offer any advice, it would be: keep it super simple the first week. I made a big ole pot of green beans on Sunday, shredded a buncha chicken, portioned out salads, got some broccoli ready, and decided this is not the week to brush up on my culinary skills. We had a lot of those green beans and some pre-made meatballs pretty much every night. The first week is all about getting into the swing of things. In the upcoming week, I will branch out a little more. Also, I miss pizza.

I hate potty training. I don’t even know if you can call what we’re doing “potty training.” I know there are so many methods to this, none of which I can fully grasp. We’re basically in a practice holding pattern. It was all good until my sweet little girl messed all over the only 5×8 rug in our house. I had the good sense to not take a picture, haha. It was freaking terrible. And also kind of hilarious because she’s in an intense bossy phase, so as I am literally biting my lip, she’s saying, “Hey! Mommy! Clean up my poop!” Um, heck nah. I’m hesitant to recount this- I’m super modest in my public persona (whatever that means), but more people need to talk about the fact that this crap (literally) cuz when you’re in this boat…you need to know this is a very real and disgusting possibility!

About a month ago, in the midst of the dog days of teacher summer, I embarked on a very important goal: to watch every single episode of The Real Housewives of New York City available on Hulu. I’m proud to report that I am almost there, guys. But also, I need to know…how can I access the seasons not available? I need to see Lu and Tom and more Bethenny! I know there’s gotta be a loophole to get me there without paying for cable. (I am not opposed to stealing your mama’s login to Bravo. I have no shame in this mission.) I really want to thank my close group of “work friends” for respecting this sacred time in my life and of course my husband for watching this mess with me and then even “catching up” after I went to bed. That’s love, y’all.

Y’all our house looks totally different! I cannot wait to really show everyone the progress. It’s incredible. Since my last post, B pulled up all of the giant hedges and even a dead tree. (A la Paul Bunyon, so don’t revoke his man card in watching RHONY with me.) We were hoping to paint the door and cedar siding tomorrow, but if you’re paying any attention, you know it’s raining a lot in these parts.

Speaking of, I cannot stop thinking about this piece. I’ve followed her blog for as long as I can remember. I don’t know that I knew she lives in Houston, but either way…she’s already gained a lot of national attention for her writing, but I’m truly praying that everyone reads this. It’s so easy to lose perspective in such disasters. We are so desensitized from information overload that we can no longer discern what’s important and what’s not- we’re slowly losing that human element, the thing that connects us the most. Seriously…please read this. It was such a game-changer for me.

I am pretty jazzed about this weekend, other than the aforementioned potty training. Novella requested a trip to the library, Ima surprise her with a trip to her best friend’s house…y’all I really want a date night. Either way, tell me what you would tell me on a coffee date!